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Archive for August, 2014

Dearest girl,

It’s 4 am. I can’t sleep, knowing he is returning to you tonight. It is the road to madness, but I lie here imagining him lying next to you, his licence to touch you, to hold you, and I would do anything to make that freedom mine.
You were so angry with me when you found me drinking at Alberto’s. You called it an indulgence, and I’m afraid my response was unforgivable. Men hurt themselves when they lash out and, as cruel and stupid as my words may have been, I think you know your words  hurt me more. Felipe told me I was a fool when you left, and he was right.
I am telling you this because I need you to know that I am going to be a better man. Hah! I can barely believe I am writing such a cliche. But it’s true. You make me want to be a better version of myself. I have sat here for hours, staring at the whisky bottle, and then, not five minutes ago, I finally got up and poured the whole darned lot into the sink. I will be a better person for you darling. I want to live well, wish for you to be able to etch each of them on to my memory with exquisite clarity so that I can recall them at moments like this, when my very soul feels blackened.
Take him to you, if you must, my love, but don’t love him. Please don’t love him.
Yours selfishly,
……

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Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday! Enclosed is your birthday present which I hope you like….
I am thinking of you especially today….
Because I have decided that although I love you I am not in love with you. I don’t feel that you are God’s One for me. Anyway, I really hope that you like your present and that you have a fantastic birthday.

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And I am back

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And I am back

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